🌸 Girl Thoughts 🌸

  I stepped out of myself today. I just stood there, a silent ghost, watching my own body move through the heavy ache of living. It broke something inside my mind to see it from the outside to look into my own eyes and feel the absolute, hollow emptiness staring back. I used to hold onto things. I used to have hope. But I watched it drain out of me, until there was nothing left but space. I am so light now. So fragile, like dry autumn leaves. If the wind were to catch me right now, it would carry me away, drift me across the sky, and drop me somewhere so far down that I would never, ever want to come back. There is a strange regret in being this hollow. I watched my body beg for sleep, pleading for the dark to just turn off the noise. But sleep is no longer a requirement for this life. The clock keeps ticking, but the rest never comes. So I roamed. Endless, heavy nights, walking side by side with my lover. Dark after dark, two shadows chasing a phantom. We were hunting for hope, bu...

 So, I'm not proud of myself that all I've felt is pain, hurt and disappointment for the past three years.  Life has not been easy for me and I wake up every day telling myself that regardless of everything I'm going through, I'll still be strong. 🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶  I keep trying so hard to make myself strong, telling myself that everything is okay, everything happens for a reason. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶  I try to romanticize my pain, try to make it feel like the pain is not easy until there comes a moment in my life where I just break down and cry.  And the moment I start crying, I can't stop the tears.  The tears keep flowing and flowing and flowing. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶  I don't know, it makes me feel like I have bottled up so much pain in my heart. I have tried to contain the pain so much.  It's like, it's like my pain has been kept in a jar and the jar is overflowing. 🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶...

 What if life is a dream and death wakes us up.  Is all our suffering just going to end in death. If so let's truly cherish the moments we have every hour, every second, every minute.  And let's give the world a reason to remember our name. - edidi ☕💕

 This thought has been with me since high school. What if life is a dream… and death wakes us up? I keep asking myself this question, what if our whole life on earth is just a dream?  Like something we experience for so long, and then one day we wake up and we’re like, oh my God… that was the longest dream ever. I don’t know. It’s just such a weird thought. If you’ve been “asleep” your whole life,  living inside a dream… when you wake up, would you even think the same way? 💭 Honestly, I don’t talk about this much. But when it comes to death, I don’t want to live my life being scared of it. I want to live a life where I’m ready for it.🫶🥀❤️ A life where I can say, yes, I’ve fulfilled my purpose. I’ve done what I wanted to do. I want to reach a point where if I know death is coming, I won’t be afraid. Because the truth is… one day, I’m going to die. And that thought? It’s scary. It’s weird. It’s something people don’t really like to talk about. Sometimes I walk around and...

  You know, the older I get, the more I realize that I don’t want to be in this space. I don’t want to live my life trying to impress anybody because I’m tired. I wasn’t born for anybody. I don’t even really know what the human purpose on earth is anyway, but one thing I do know is that we are born to express, not impress 💭 The older I get, the more I find myself wishing for simple things.... mornings that don’t rush me ☁️ conversations that don’t drain me 🫠 a life that doesn’t demand me to keep explaining myself to people Because there comes a point where you’re just… tired of everything. Like my God. It’s gotten to a point where I don’t even feel like making conversations with people anymore. And I know I’m not old, I’m young. I’m 19… 19 +.....but I feel so drained. Everything around me just feels off🫠💔 I don’t feel motivated to do anything. I’m in school, but classes feel boring. Conversations feel dull. Everything just feels… bleh. My mornings are full of panic and chaos, a...

 So like I just really needed to type this 🥱💔 Like I am officially done with Clara Dao 😪💔 Like I made 2 yt videos about her and I actually enjoyed making content on her, cuz she's cute, funny, relatable, dramatic, unpredictable 😫😩💔💔💔 Like when she even got her boob job, I was disappointed unfollowed her but still kept watching her content and checking up on her 🌚🫶❤️ I honestly didn't mind she started an only fans and got a supposed bbl... which I don't know if it's true or not 😐💔 Like yh, girl you can get an OF and no one would care cuz it's your life choices and whatever 😒💔 But the reason why I am done with her, It's because of that 2 by 4 reason she gave as to why she started an only fans 😑💔 So like it went like this ..... Nobody: Clara why did you start an OF 😭👀🥀💔💔💔 Clara: I just wanted to be rebellious 🤓👍❤️‍🩹 Oooooooohkay 😑😒😐🙄????!!!! What kind of dumb excuse is that ?.... like girl... I don't want it to feel like oh she ca...

Oh my God 🥹😄🫶❤️ Hi and I know it's been forever since I last posted here 😭💔 Like sometimes I just open up my blog and stare in absolute laziness 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔 Not because I don't want to write but because I have sooooooo much to do personally 😭😭😭😭🤲❤️ If you're reading this post and you've read most of my previous post, you'll realize that life has not been easy for me and I wouldn't stop whining about it 😅😆❤️‍🩹 But I'm here to confirm and tell you that all is well for real 🫠🤧💔 I have lived in sorrow and hurt for Soo long that it has traumatized me 💔 Yet though my days are still grey and cloudy, I want to look on the positive side, I have to accept my reality and save & change my situation 🫠🤧❤️‍🩹 B#tching and moaning about it has literally gotten me no where 😐😑🥲😓😞💔 I am not cured From my suffering, I still have terrible days and life is testing my patience 💔 But I refuse to just sit there and let my story be told and dictated...

  Welcome to Gurlfriend Ruls  where real thoughts meets real change ☕💕 So I've started a new blog at  🎀 Gurlfriend Ruls ❤️ 🥹❤️ I want to educate, inform, advice and inspire all the overwhelmed girlies going through a lot in life ☹️😭💔....all my girlies who are tired of surface level advice ☹️🫠💔 Cuz honestly speaking, I have been really traumatized since last year....I have experienced so much hurt and pain that it has honestly affected me 🫠❤️‍🩹 Cuz if you honestly read my blog posts....they are really really sad and depressing 😭🤧❤️‍🩹 I'm not proud of it but like I am 😭❤️‍🩹 I do have happy days and a lot of sad days 😭❤️‍🩹 So yh I've been busy with my new blog 🥹❤️ Trying to tweak and work it out 😍🥰❤️ It's live so you can check it out 🥳🫶💖 So today 10 March, 2026 has been one of my worst days 💔 I wish today didn't happen and I would never in my life, want to re live today 💔 So my dad would have died hours before I woke up....he was attacked by ro...

  I want to be alone...I want to isolate myself from everything I'm tired... I'm sad... I'm overwhelmed.... I'm depressed 🥀💔 Right now my life feels sooo heavy, I don't know what to do 🥀💔 Whether I look left or right....up or down, help isn't coming from anywhere 🥀💔 I have prayed, wished, starved, hoped for just a little glimpse of freedom and reassurance 🥀💔 I have over shared my problems and situation with sooo many ppl and now I regret it 🥀💔 At the end of the day, I just lay down in bed with my pillow soaking up my endless tears.... I'm tired...I gave myself that opportunity to over share and in the end, ppl are finding me difficult and I just sound like I'm nagging 🥀💔 The ones closest to my heart that I never thought would turn s complete blind eye on me...have locked their doors on me and all they do is gossip about me 🥀💔 Why ???!!! I blame myself for everything... cuz I am facing the circumstances of my actions 🥀💔 Circumstances has ...

  Why am I still hurting 🥀💔💔? I poured my soul out...but I was met with confusing 💭 I expected you to talk back and tell me how you were feeling 🥀❤️‍🩹 But you just ended up... taking time off 🥀❤️‍🩹 I never wanted you to take time off 🥀❤️‍🩹 I just wanted you to communicate with me 🫠💔 Rather than shutting the whole conversation down and going offline 🥀💔 You are so far away from me and the distance between us is deep...so I can't meet you us to discuss 🥀❤️‍🩹 Distance doesn't destroy relationships...but silence does 🤍 So please don't be quiet 🥀❤️‍🩹 Hear my cries and speak to me 😓❤️‍🩹 Don't let me overthink and it would get me overwhelmed 🥀❤️‍🩹 I'm hurting but you're just taking time off 🥀💔 Please don't do this to me.....❣️💔 I'm going to also give you the time and spave you need to process your thoughts ❤️‍🩹 I'll be here... whenever you feel like talking....you know where to find me ❤️‍🔥

Today has been a lot for me ❤️‍🩹 I've been sad because of what I said to someone very dear to my heart ❤️‍🩹 And I fear what I said might change the vibe between us....it wasn't my intention to hurt you 😓💔 You were just going a bit too far and it pushed me over the edge 🥀💔 I've been stressing and thinking about it from yesterday to now 🥀💔 I pray nothing changes between us and may we have the strength to overcome it ❤️‍🩹 We are from different worlds...I pray we can find a way to balance our differences and move past this 🥀💔 I've lost so many ppl because I make things too complicated and difficult 😓🥀❤️‍🩹💔 I hope you can hold on to the end of the rope with me and we can see a brighter future together ❤️‍🩹 I'm sorry...but I meant every word ❤️‍🩹

 📝💕: Forgive yourself for not knowing earlier what only time could teach you ❤️‍🩹 ....xoxo 💖

 Tonight I lay here with so much pain and anguish in my heart 🥀💔 I'm so overwhelmed with anger, hopelessness and sadness 🥀💔 Where is the God who draws nearer in your most darkest night??? Where is the almighty merciful God??? Is there even God??? Cuz I'm tired!!! I'm sad!!!! I'm overwhelmed!!!!! I can do nothing but cry till my tears run dry and blood overflows 🥀💔 I am hurting but there's no God or no one to save me, I'm tired of this life 🥀💔 I do not want to chained down to live a life forced on me, because that's how someone else lived before me 💔💔💔 Why am I the only one hurting when I know you'll never let others go through my pain !? You have neglected me and prioritized yourself and others before me 🥀💔 Such selfish people 🥀💔 I have done nothing but to love, respect and honor you so much 🥀💔 I just want to be worthy of your love and care and is that so much to ask???? Why are you doing this me?? 🥀💔 I cry myself to sleep everyday kno...

 🎀 2026 facts to be accepted 🔐❤️‍🩹 New year...same girl different mindset 🫶💕 I don't know how 2026 is going to turn out and honestly,  my prayer is to achieve my one heart desire and come out of the year to see 2027 🥹🥂🎊🍾🎉❤️‍🔥 2025 was honestly terrible 🫠💔 But thought me lessons worth learning ❤️‍🩹 I've learned to accept that we're all a bad person in someone's story ❤️‍🩹 Our perspectives can never be the same.... and honestly that's what makes each of us unique 😏❤️‍🩹... though it's sometimes annoying that is life ❤️ And when one goes through pain and heartache, just know that no one can help you out if that situation but yourself ❤️‍🩹 Don't wait for someone to reach out to you..... struggle and take yourself out of that situation 🫠💔 Cuz honestly no cares...no one cares your pain and everyone has their problems ❤️‍🩹 This doesn't mean they're wicked or selfish 🥀💔....it just means they're human 🤍 Humans aren't perfect.......

have you ever wanted something so bad🥀.... that no matter how much you strive to get it... it falls into the hands of the lazy and ungrateful ☹️💔 Suffering so much and just wanting to taste a little freedom...but all the treasures you ever wished for...is freely handed over to freeloaders 🥀💔, who don't even see the need for it and don't appreciate it ☹️🥀💔 Freedom, power and privilege is always handed to the wrong ppl 😥🥀💔....ppl who are self centered, arrogant and selfish 🥀💔 Ppl who don't work so they don't see what they have is gold 🫠💔 Ppl who just sneeze and lands and gold's are handed to them 🫠💔 The worst part is....you can't even speak up and correct them...cuz it is seen as disrespect 🫠💔 Born without a golden spoon... forced to sweat and cry before you can even see the golden spoon 🫠🥀💔 Praying endless and wishing for miracles 🥀💔 Crying blood but no one to wipe your tears 🫠🥀💔 It was never said all our desires would be fulfilled 🫠🥀💔...

   Finding a way to blame one gender for everything is just wild, for real It's like whatever that gender does it's not good enough,  you don't appreciate that they try  and the moment they try to do something  and it goes wrong it becomes a generalization🥀💔 It's like men don't have flaws and it's a woman's fault for everything...  even if a man does something dumb you'll blame the girl for falling for it, everyday women this, women that... why if it was you that we blamed you for everything how you feel...  if you think society will thrive women then what's the essence of women?? So a woman's only purpose in your eyes is to give birth, so if robots are able to also give birth,  you'll start questioning women's existence...  how will you feel if every day, every year, every era, every decade....  ppl tie your existence to one thing, to give birth, to raise children  (and that one if the child decides to go down the wrong path...i...

 Okay so it's me again 😙❤️ Documenting another piece of my life 🫠❤️‍🩹 So in my older posts it seemed like  I was going through a lot  and was having a really tough time which was and is true though 🫠❤️‍🩹 So I fell into depression for almost 6 weeks,  completely left social media because everything was incredibly draining 😭💔 I couldn't think straight and I was constantly comparing myself to everyone 🥲❤️‍🩹 Even though I know it's just aesthetic and filters, it still felt real 🫠💔 So I've been doing some self healing accepting my situation and just going with the flow.... rather than stressing out and controlling what I can't 😓🤧❤️‍🩹 I feel so much lighter like 😭.... I feel so much peace even though my life isn't perfect 🙂... and I feel like I'm cracking every second 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 Yet I've learned to embrace the storm 😙🫶💕 I feel opportunities coming my way, not miracles but opportunities I work...

 2025 is almost over 🥀💔 So many things happened this year,  and I’m glad I was able to document parts of my life on this blog 🥰💝. I know that sitting back a year or two from now  and reading this will be so nostalgic,  and I can’t wait for that moment ☺️❤️. I told myself that 2025 was going to be my year,  and though the year is ending without any physical achievements to show for it 🥀✨,  I’ve gained so much experience, wisdom, and lessons 🥹❤️. The mistakes, the heartbreaks, and the challenges are constantly pushing me to grow into the person I am becoming every day 🫂💝✨. I waited and prayed for miracles to change my life, when I should have been building myself up 🥀💔. I can’t even count the times I’ve broken down, cried, been disappointed…  and still found the strength to overcome it all 🌱💕. One thing 2025 has taught me is that nothing is permanent and everything is temporary.  Where I was in March 2025 is not where I am today 🌱💕. Th...

First of all, some people are born naturally stupid🙄🤬💔.  They have the ego of a lizard🥀,  the body of a hippopotamus🥀, and the mindset of a jellyfish🥀💔.  Arrogant beings like this don’t deserve to be leaders😤😠🥀💔 Because you know why🥀💔?  Just because you’re a leader doesn’t give you the audacity to trample upon your citizens 🙄  and say something as stupid as, “Just because you’re doing this and you’re not bedridden doesn’t make you a case important.” May I remind you....we are human beings, and literally anything can happen🥀💔.  Life is unpredictable🖤🖤🖤. We protect ourselves because life can flip in a second🤧💔.  So yes, this post is dedicated to insulting a very stupidly arrogant human being😡💔 Because if you were truly a leader, you would put yourself in your citizens’ shoes🥀😒💔.  You’d try to understand things from their perspective.  You wouldn’t stand there and act like a coward throwing shade and replying indirectl...

I don't know when I'll overcome this chapter of my life.. . I feel like I've wasted 3 yrs of my life 🫠🥀💔 Reflecting on it and thinking about it hurts me so much... but tears wouldn't fix an inch of it 🥀💔 I've leaved in sorrow and pain for too long that now... I feel it's a part of my life 🫠💔 I don't know what to do it say .....  I've just acknowledged and accepted my pain  and I pray for the day where  I'll look back and tears of joy run down my face ❤️‍🩹 Cuz now I'm out of tears and I'm shrinking inside 🥀💔 I don't even know what to think of life anymore....  and to think I'm going through this because of my fellow sinner I just have to leave in a silence for a little longer Because in the mist of this void and sadness.... there is still a little glimpse of hope in me ❤️ #the.end.of.my.rope🥀🖤