Weightless ⁠♡

 

I stepped out of myself today.

I just stood there, a silent ghost,

watching my own body move through the heavy ache of living.

It broke something inside my mind to see it from the outside

to look into my own eyes and feel the absolute, hollow emptiness staring back.

I used to hold onto things. I used to have hope.

But I watched it drain out of me,

until there was nothing left but space.

I am so light now.

So fragile, like dry autumn leaves.

If the wind were to catch me right now, it would carry me away,

drift me across the sky,

and drop me somewhere so far down that I would never, ever want to come back.

There is a strange regret in being this hollow.

I watched my body beg for sleep,

pleading for the dark to just turn off the noise.

But sleep is no longer a requirement for this life.

The clock keeps ticking, but the rest never comes.

So I roamed.

Endless, heavy nights, walking side by side with my lover.

Dark after dark, two shadows chasing a phantom.

We were hunting for hope, but it was a dim, distant star,

so far out of reach.

And the cruelest part of it all?

We got so close. We could almost touch it.

And right there, at the very edge of the breakthrough, I collapsed.

Now it’s just the same routine.

Crying black blood, day after day.

Waking up stressed, the weight pressing down on my chest before I even open my eyes.

A soulless person, wandering an earth that feels too big and too cold.

But then, a quiet shift.

My soul drifted back in, locking back into the bone and skin.

The emptiness didn’t vanish,

the sadness is still a heavy coat around my shoulders,

but deep down, beneath the ache,

there is the tiniest glimpse of something else.

Not today. The darkness is still too thick right now.

But one day.

One day 🥀❤️‍🩹