🌸 Girl Thoughts 🌸

  After a month, everything seems so normal and dull... as if nothing ever happened. I am happy, but I feel empty. I waited for this for the longest time... three years and counting. I honestly did not like how I left things. It felt rushed. It felt sad. And honestly, if I could go back in time... I would probably do it the same way. I can't help but blame myself for leaving a toxic environment. I was suffering. Scars have been drawn on my body. Unwanted habits have now become normal for me. I feel restless. I am exhausted. I am tired, yet I feel like I don't deserve sleep. Why, though? I only left because I was tired of being exploited. I want to be selfish. I want to put myself first. I have been nothing but a dirty doormat. My mind, soul, and body crave peace and sleep, but I feel like the moment I lay down, I will fall behind. Am I over exaggerating my grief? Or am I trying to convince myself that leaving was the wrong step? I feel lonely. I don't crave people to intera...

 It's been a while since I posted here 🥹♥️ I love this space so much 🥰💖 ...xoxo 💕

Gosh 🥲💔 Today I can proudly say ..... " My life has changed 🤗🥹🥰❤️" I can sleep and know that ....I am finally at peace  I can eat and know that....I can finally eat  I can think without.... stressing my mind 🥺💔 I don't know where to start, I don't know where to end...cuz like I spent 3 yrs in pain and sadness and yesterday....I stood my ground and I can proudly say "it is done 😭‼️" I am finally free, but these 3 yrs has shaped my life, mindset and spirit 🤍 I am free, I am not longer caged... 🎀 I am free 🪽✨

 What if life is a dream and death wakes us up.  Is all our suffering just going to end in death. If so let's truly cherish the moments we have every hour, every second, every minute.  And let's give the world a reason to remember our name. - edidi ☕💕

 This thought has been with me since high school. What if life is a dream… and death wakes us up? I keep asking myself this question, what if our whole life on earth is just a dream?  Like something we experience for so long, and then one day we wake up and we’re like, oh my God… that was the longest dream ever. I don’t know. It’s just such a weird thought. If you’ve been “asleep” your whole life,  living inside a dream… when you wake up, would you even think the same way? 💭 Honestly, I don’t talk about this much. But when it comes to death, I don’t want to live my life being scared of it. I want to live a life where I’m ready for it.🫶🥀❤️ A life where I can say, yes, I’ve fulfilled my purpose. I’ve done what I wanted to do. I want to reach a point where if I know death is coming, I won’t be afraid. Because the truth is… one day, I’m going to die. And that thought? It’s scary. It’s weird. It’s something people don’t really like to talk about. Sometimes I walk around and...

  You know, the older I get, the more I realize that I don’t want to be in this space. I don’t want to live my life trying to impress anybody because I’m tired. I wasn’t born for anybody. I don’t even really know what the human purpose on earth is anyway, but one thing I do know is that we are born to express, not impress 💭 The older I get, the more I find myself wishing for simple things.... mornings that don’t rush me ☁️ conversations that don’t drain me 🫠 a life that doesn’t demand me to keep explaining myself to people Because there comes a point where you’re just… tired of everything. Like my God. It’s gotten to a point where I don’t even feel like making conversations with people anymore. And I know I’m not old, I’m young. I’m 19… 19 +.....but I feel so drained. Everything around me just feels off🫠💔 I don’t feel motivated to do anything. I’m in school, but classes feel boring. Conversations feel dull. Everything just feels… bleh. My mornings are full of panic and chaos, a...

  This blog post is inspired by a Pinterest tweet I just saw.  It says,  “ No matter how old you get, you always wish you started younger, and today is the youngest you can be.” This is so true. I want to share my thoughts on it because so many of us want to start something,  but we always feel like it’s not the right time or we’re not in the right stage of our lives.  Then the moment we finally start, we tell ourselves,  “Oh my God, if I had started this earlier…” I’ve met so many people who feel like they lost opportunities because they didn’t learn a specific skill way back then.  They feel like if they had started earlier, it would have benefited them now. But I’m here to tell you...you are never too late. Today is the day you can start whatever you want to start. There is no rule that says you have to start today and succeed tomorrow. And don’t compare yourself to other people.  Even me, I struggle with comparison all the time😓🤍. I’m always...

 So like I just really needed to type this 🥱💔 Like I am officially done with Clara Dao 😪💔 Like I made 2 yt videos about her and I actually enjoyed making content on her, cuz she's cute, funny, relatable, dramatic, unpredictable 😫😩💔💔💔 Like when she even got her boob job, I was disappointed unfollowed her but still kept watching her content and checking up on her 🌚🫶❤️ I honestly didn't mind she started an only fans and got a supposed bbl... which I don't know if it's true or not 😐💔 Like yh, girl you can get an OF and no one would care cuz it's your life choices and whatever 😒💔 But the reason why I am done with her, It's because of that 2 by 4 reason she gave as to why she started an only fans 😑💔 So like it went like this ..... Nobody: Clara why did you start an OF 😭👀🥀💔💔💔 Clara: I just wanted to be rebellious 🤓👍❤️‍🩹 Oooooooohkay 😑😒😐🙄????!!!! What kind of dumb excuse is that ?.... like girl... I don't want it to feel like oh she ca...

Oh my God 🥹😄🫶❤️ Hi and I know it's been forever since I last posted here 😭💔 Like sometimes I just open up my blog and stare in absolute laziness 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔 Not because I don't want to write but because I have sooooooo much to do personally 😭😭😭😭🤲❤️ If you're reading this post and you've read most of my previous post, you'll realize that life has not been easy for me and I wouldn't stop whining about it 😅😆❤️‍🩹 But I'm here to confirm and tell you that all is well for real 🫠🤧💔 I have lived in sorrow and hurt for Soo long that it has traumatized me 💔 Yet though my days are still grey and cloudy, I want to look on the positive side, I have to accept my reality and save & change my situation 🫠🤧❤️‍🩹 B#tching and moaning about it has literally gotten me no where 😐😑🥲😓😞💔 I am not cured From my suffering, I still have terrible days and life is testing my patience 💔 But I refuse to just sit there and let my story be told and dictated...

  Welcome to Gurlfriend Ruls  where real thoughts meets real change ☕💕 So I've started a new blog at  🎀 Gurlfriend Ruls ❤️ 🥹❤️ I want to educate, inform, advice and inspire all the overwhelmed girlies going through a lot in life ☹️😭💔....all my girlies who are tired of surface level advice ☹️🫠💔 Cuz honestly speaking, I have been really traumatized since last year....I have experienced so much hurt and pain that it has honestly affected me 🫠❤️‍🩹 Cuz if you honestly read my blog posts....they are really really sad and depressing 😭🤧❤️‍🩹 I'm not proud of it but like I am 😭❤️‍🩹 I do have happy days and a lot of sad days 😭❤️‍🩹 So yh I've been busy with my new blog 🥹❤️ Trying to tweak and work it out 😍🥰❤️ It's live so you can check it out 🥳🫶💖 So today 10 March, 2026 has been one of my worst days 💔 I wish today didn't happen and I would never in my life, want to re live today 💔 So my dad would have died hours before I woke up....he was attacked by ro...

 So like it's me your doll Edidi 🥹🥰😊♥️♥️♥️.... it's been almost....I don't remember weeks since I last wrote on my cozy blog 😊🫶♥️✨.... I haven't forgotten about it don't worry 🥰🫶♥️.... I've just been pretty busy 🤧😵‍💫😮‍💨💔💔💔 So I haven't gotten enough time 🐢💕...I actually want to write a bunch of posts giving the lastest and all the updates so far 😝😩😩😩✨✨✨ But I'm tired right now and sleepy 🥱😴💔, but I'll update you guys soon 🥹( by you guys...I mean me, myself and the void 🥹).... I'm not writing for validation, just sharing my unfiltered thoughts 🥱🫶♥️ I'm so sleepy but I'll update you guys soon... promise 🥹🤞, cross my heart and hope to die 😘😍❤️ Good night 😩❤️ Plus, I don't want Google to think the blog is dead and abandoned 😭❤️

  I want to be alone...I want to isolate myself from everything I'm tired... I'm sad... I'm overwhelmed.... I'm depressed 🥀💔 Right now my life feels sooo heavy, I don't know what to do 🥀💔 Whether I look left or right....up or down, help isn't coming from anywhere 🥀💔 I have prayed, wished, starved, hoped for just a little glimpse of freedom and reassurance 🥀💔 I have over shared my problems and situation with sooo many ppl and now I regret it 🥀💔 At the end of the day, I just lay down in bed with my pillow soaking up my endless tears.... I'm tired...I gave myself that opportunity to over share and in the end, ppl are finding me difficult and I just sound like I'm nagging 🥀💔 The ones closest to my heart that I never thought would turn s complete blind eye on me...have locked their doors on me and all they do is gossip about me 🥀💔 Why ???!!! I blame myself for everything... cuz I am facing the circumstances of my actions 🥀💔 Circumstances has ...

  Why am I still hurting 🥀💔💔? I poured my soul out...but I was met with confusing 💭 I expected you to talk back and tell me how you were feeling 🥀❤️‍🩹 But you just ended up... taking time off 🥀❤️‍🩹 I never wanted you to take time off 🥀❤️‍🩹 I just wanted you to communicate with me 🫠💔 Rather than shutting the whole conversation down and going offline 🥀💔 You are so far away from me and the distance between us is deep...so I can't meet you us to discuss 🥀❤️‍🩹 Distance doesn't destroy relationships...but silence does 🤍 So please don't be quiet 🥀❤️‍🩹 Hear my cries and speak to me 😓❤️‍🩹 Don't let me overthink and it would get me overwhelmed 🥀❤️‍🩹 I'm hurting but you're just taking time off 🥀💔 Please don't do this to me.....❣️💔 I'm going to also give you the time and spave you need to process your thoughts ❤️‍🩹 I'll be here... whenever you feel like talking....you know where to find me ❤️‍🔥

Today has been a lot for me ❤️‍🩹 I've been sad because of what I said to someone very dear to my heart ❤️‍🩹 And I fear what I said might change the vibe between us....it wasn't my intention to hurt you 😓💔 You were just going a bit too far and it pushed me over the edge 🥀💔 I've been stressing and thinking about it from yesterday to now 🥀💔 I pray nothing changes between us and may we have the strength to overcome it ❤️‍🩹 We are from different worlds...I pray we can find a way to balance our differences and move past this 🥀💔 I've lost so many ppl because I make things too complicated and difficult 😓🥀❤️‍🩹💔 I hope you can hold on to the end of the rope with me and we can see a brighter future together ❤️‍🩹 I'm sorry...but I meant every word ❤️‍🩹

  ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ♫₊˚.🎧 ✩｡୧ ‧₊˚ 🍓 ⋅ ☆☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩୭ 🧷 ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 🎀°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･୭ 🧷 ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 🎀‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚✩♬ ₊˚.🎧⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧༘⋆🌷🫧💭₊˚ෆ♡✧( •⌄• ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚  ˚｡⋆ ༘˚✧)☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.༘⋆♡⸝⸝💌⊹。°˖➴✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧✮。°˖ ʚ🍓ɞ ꒦꒷⩩୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆୧ ‧₊˚ 🍵 ⋅₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.꒰ 🥥 ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ˚ · .˚ ༘🦋⋆｡˚₍ ᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ₎˚୨୧۰ ۪۪۫۫ · 🩰'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'⊹🌷🧺*:･(ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟ.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊⩇⩇:⩇⩇𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒୧⍤⃝💐˚₊˚✧🦩✧˖°🌷𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶָ ๋𓂃 ⋆ᡣ𐭩────୨ৎ────ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ⋆˚࿔ edidi 𝜗𝜚˚⋆‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🍒 ⋅ ˚✮°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆🌷͙⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐˚.🎀༘⋆🧸ྀི˙✧˖°📷 ༘ ⋆｡˚ℓo͟v͟ ყoυ .ᐟ⋆˚✿˖°˙ . ꒷ 🍰 . 𖦹˙—૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡𖦹🍀୭˚. ᵎᵎ｡🧷𖦹°‧▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||| 0:10 ˖ ֹ੭୧ 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗲'𝘀 ⊹ ࣪ ⑅⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡🪐༘⋆˚˖𓍢🌷✧˚.🎀⋆૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა˚˖𓍢🌷✧˚.🎀⋆˚⊱🪷⊰˚✩°𓏲⋆🌿. ⋆⸜ 🍵✮˚°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡⋆｡˚୨𝑳𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒅𝒆୧˚｡⋆. ܁₊ ⊹ . ܁ ⟡ ܁ . ⊹ ₊ ܁.✿˚ ༘ 🦕𖦹⋆｡˚૮₍ ´ ꒳ `₎აㅤ ׅ 𝄂𝄚𝅦𝄚𝄞𝅄ㅤ🌊⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖°🫧°.🐚⋆❀˖°🫧ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ⊹ ࣪ ˖╰┈➤⌗.ᐟ⋆⭒˚.⋆🪐 ⋆⭒˚.⋆⋆⭒˚.⋆🪐⋆｡‧˚ʚ🧸ɞ˚‧｡⋆──★ ˙🍓 ̟!!🎧ྀི࿔...

 This is literally my mood right now 🤧💖 I don't know whose son or daughter this is but like...... I'm loving the lashes 😭💅💖....purr 😚💅💖

 Control what you can.... confront what you can't 😮‍💨❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Okay so I’m going to be carefree and blaaaaahh 😌🥴🤪😜😪😴💔 Because honestly… I don’t even know how I’m feeling 👀❤️‍🩹 I feel better today though, so I’m here to spill 🐢💕 I’m a weird dreamer with a wild imagination, always wanting to try new things 😌❤️‍🩹 But life is ugh 😒 sometimes 🚮 I really love talking. And writing. And rambling non-stop ╰⁠(⁠⁠´⁠︶⁠`⁠⁠)⁠╯✨ Anyone who truly knows me knows I’ve always had this one big book the kind I design and fill with thoughts, lessons, quotes… not stories, just me (⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠)⁠♡ But here’s the plot twist: I’m an introvert 🤧❤️‍🩹 A serious one. I can talk to you nonstop for a week, then suddenly go quiet 🫠 Not because I don’t care. Not because I don’t want to talk. I genuinely don’t know why ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ❤️ And the worst part? The longer the silence lasts, the heavier it feels… until reaching out feels awkward and cringe for me 😵‍💫 So I overthink. And spiral. And blah blah blah 🥴❤️‍🩹 So why am I writing this post (⁠￣⁠(⁠ｴ⁠)⁠￣⁠)⁠ﾉ❤️ Because onc...

 📝💕: Forgive yourself for not knowing earlier what only time could teach you ❤️‍🩹 ....xoxo 💖

 Tonight I lay here with so much pain and anguish in my heart 🥀💔 I'm so overwhelmed with anger, hopelessness and sadness 🥀💔 Where is the God who draws nearer in your most darkest night??? Where is the almighty merciful God??? Is there even God??? Cuz I'm tired!!! I'm sad!!!! I'm overwhelmed!!!!! I can do nothing but cry till my tears run dry and blood overflows 🥀💔 I am hurting but there's no God or no one to save me, I'm tired of this life 🥀💔 I do not want to chained down to live a life forced on me, because that's how someone else lived before me 💔💔💔 Why am I the only one hurting when I know you'll never let others go through my pain !? You have neglected me and prioritized yourself and others before me 🥀💔 Such selfish people 🥀💔 I have done nothing but to love, respect and honor you so much 🥀💔 I just want to be worthy of your love and care and is that so much to ask???? Why are you doing this me?? 🥀💔 I cry myself to sleep everyday kno...