I Thought Leaving Would Feel Like Freedom.

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  After a month, everything seems so normal and dull... as if nothing ever happened. I am happy, but I feel empty. I waited for this for the longest time... three years and counting. I honestly did not like how I left things. It felt rushed. It felt sad. And honestly, if I could go back in time... I would probably do it the same way. I can't help but blame myself for leaving a toxic environment. I was suffering. Scars have been drawn on my body. Unwanted habits have now become normal for me. I feel restless. I am exhausted. I am tired, yet I feel like I don't deserve sleep. Why, though? I only left because I was tired of being exploited. I want to be selfish. I want to put myself first. I have been nothing but a dirty doormat. My mind, soul, and body crave peace and sleep, but I feel like the moment I lay down, I will fall behind. Am I over exaggerating my grief? Or am I trying to convince myself that leaving was the wrong step? I feel lonely. I don't crave people to intera...
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๐ŸŒธ Carefree, Confused & Still Dreaming ๐ŸŒธ

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Okay so I’m going to be carefree and blaaaaahh ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿฅด๐Ÿคช๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿ’”

Because honestly… I don’t even know how I’m feeling ๐Ÿ‘€❤️‍๐Ÿฉน

I feel better today though, so I’m here to spill ๐Ÿข๐Ÿ’•

I’m a weird dreamer with a wild imagination, always wanting to try new things ๐Ÿ˜Œ❤️‍๐Ÿฉน

But life is ugh ๐Ÿ˜’ sometimes ๐Ÿšฎ

I really love talking. And writing. And rambling non-stop ╰⁠(⁠⁠´⁠︶⁠`⁠⁠)⁠╯✨

Anyone who truly knows me knows I’ve always had this one big book the kind I design and fill with thoughts, lessons, quotes… not stories, just me (⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠)⁠♡

But here’s the plot twist: I’m an introvert ๐Ÿคง❤️‍๐Ÿฉน

A serious one.

I can talk to you nonstop for a week, then suddenly go quiet ๐Ÿซ 

Not because I don’t care. Not because I don’t want to talk.

I genuinely don’t know why ส•⁠·⁠แดฅ⁠·⁠ส”❤️

And the worst part?

The longer the silence lasts, the heavier it feels… until reaching out feels awkward and cringe for me ๐Ÿ˜ต‍๐Ÿ’ซ

So I overthink. And spiral. And blah blah blah ๐Ÿฅด❤️‍๐Ÿฉน

So why am I writing this post (⁠￣⁠(⁠๏ฝด⁠)⁠￣⁠)⁠๏พ‰❤️

Because once something is on the internet, it stays there ๐Ÿ˜Œ❤️‍๐Ÿฉน

And maybe one day when I’m not around (this is not a suicide note, please ๐Ÿ˜ I’m just making a point ๐Ÿ˜‘) my thoughts might still exist ส•⁠·⁠แดฅ⁠·⁠ส”

I want my silly thoughts to be remembered ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿคญ❤️

I actually started a podcast last year on Spotify called My Rules as a GURLFRIEND.

Like most podcasters, I posted a few episodes… then disappeared ๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿค

It’s still there just another abandoned podcast floating in the universe ๐Ÿคง๐Ÿ’”

But I learned from it.

I was trying to fit into a niche everyone else was doing.

This time, I just want to be me sharing random, unfiltered thoughts and helping people (guys, gals, and all 100+ genders ๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿฝ) get 1% better every day ๐Ÿ˜Œ❤️

So yes… I’m starting again๐Ÿซฃ❤️

For real this time ๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿ“ข๐ŸŽŠ๐ŸŽ‰

I’ve created a YouTube channel, but I haven’t posted yet.

No camera. My phone camera quality is seriously bad๐Ÿ˜❤️‍๐Ÿฉน

Still before this year ends, I will launch my YouTube podcast ☕๐Ÿ’•

I want to be seriously realistic though ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿคฒ❤️‍๐Ÿฉน

My goal is 20 subscribers before the end of the year ๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿฝ❤️‍๐Ÿฉน

Humble beginnings ๐ŸŒš๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ

My new podcast is called ✨ Valentina Speaks ✨

I love the name. I adore it. Val speaks just feels right ๐Ÿ˜Œ❤️

It’s going to be my mission, my vision, my soul, my heart ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–

Where real thoughts meet real change ☕๐Ÿ’•

You’ll mostly find me on Pinterest❤️, Instagram๐Ÿ’–, YouTube ๐Ÿค and maybe TikTok ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿฅ€๐Ÿ’”

I’m that weird Instagram girl and a fulltime Pinterest nerd ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ’–

Valentina Speaks is for no one yet everyone ๐Ÿคญ❤️

A space for unfiltered thoughts, stories, and quiet honesty ☕๐Ÿ’•

If you ever want to be a guest on my pod my doors are forever open ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿซถ❤️

If you’re shy, I’ll create a Google Form or NGL so you can share anonymously ๐Ÿ“–๐Ÿ’•

And yes… there are surprises coming ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ’Œ

(Cozy wants๐Ÿ’Œ????) >>>> Stay tuned ๐Ÿ˜Œ❤️

I don't have a launch date yet ๐Ÿคง๐Ÿฅ€๐Ÿ’”

No pressure....just intention ๐Ÿค

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