🌸 Girl Thoughts 🌸

  I stepped out of myself today. I just stood there, a silent ghost, watching my own body move through the heavy ache of living. It broke something inside my mind to see it from the outside to look into my own eyes and feel the absolute, hollow emptiness staring back. I used to hold onto things. I used to have hope. But I watched it drain out of me, until there was nothing left but space. I am so light now. So fragile, like dry autumn leaves. If the wind were to catch me right now, it would carry me away, drift me across the sky, and drop me somewhere so far down that I would never, ever want to come back. There is a strange regret in being this hollow. I watched my body beg for sleep, pleading for the dark to just turn off the noise. But sleep is no longer a requirement for this life. The clock keeps ticking, but the rest never comes. So I roamed. Endless, heavy nights, walking side by side with my lover. Dark after dark, two shadows chasing a phantom. We were hunting for hope, bu...

 So, I'm not proud of myself that all I've felt is pain, hurt and disappointment for the past three years.  Life has not been easy for me and I wake up every day telling myself that regardless of everything I'm going through, I'll still be strong. 🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶  I keep trying so hard to make myself strong, telling myself that everything is okay, everything happens for a reason. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶  I try to romanticize my pain, try to make it feel like the pain is not easy until there comes a moment in my life where I just break down and cry.  And the moment I start crying, I can't stop the tears.  The tears keep flowing and flowing and flowing. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶  I don't know, it makes me feel like I have bottled up so much pain in my heart. I have tried to contain the pain so much.  It's like, it's like my pain has been kept in a jar and the jar is overflowing. 🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶🖤🩶...

 What if life is a dream and death wakes us up.  Is all our suffering just going to end in death. If so let's truly cherish the moments we have every hour, every second, every minute.  And let's give the world a reason to remember our name. - edidi ☕💕