I Thought Leaving Would Feel Like Freedom.

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  After a month, everything seems so normal and dull... as if nothing ever happened. I am happy, but I feel empty. I waited for this for the longest time... three years and counting. I honestly did not like how I left things. It felt rushed. It felt sad. And honestly, if I could go back in time... I would probably do it the same way. I can't help but blame myself for leaving a toxic environment. I was suffering. Scars have been drawn on my body. Unwanted habits have now become normal for me. I feel restless. I am exhausted. I am tired, yet I feel like I don't deserve sleep. Why, though? I only left because I was tired of being exploited. I want to be selfish. I want to put myself first. I have been nothing but a dirty doormat. My mind, soul, and body crave peace and sleep, but I feel like the moment I lay down, I will fall behind. Am I over exaggerating my grief? Or am I trying to convince myself that leaving was the wrong step? I feel lonely. I don't crave people to intera...
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🌧️ I Think I Just Want a Quiet Life☕💕

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You know, the older I get, the more I realize that I don’t want to be in this space.

I don’t want to live my life trying to impress anybody because I’m tired.

I wasn’t born for anybody.

I don’t even really know what the human purpose on earth is anyway, but one thing I do know is that we are born to express, not impress 💭

The older I get, the more I find myself wishing for simple things....

mornings that don’t rush me ☁️

conversations that don’t drain me 🫠

a life that doesn’t demand me to keep explaining myself to people

Because there comes a point where you’re just… tired of everything.

Like my God.

It’s gotten to a point where I don’t even feel like making conversations with people anymore. And I know I’m not old, I’m young. I’m 19… 19 +.....but I feel so drained.

Everything around me just feels off🫠💔

I don’t feel motivated to do anything. I’m in school, but classes feel boring. Conversations feel dull. Everything just feels… bleh.

My mornings are full of panic and chaos, and I hate that.

I just want to live my life unbothered 🤍

I think it started sometime this week when I watched this Instagram video of a man who was just… naturally unbothered. 

Nothing seemed to shake him. And I was like, wow.

So now, whenever I find myself panicking or overthinking, I tell myself something:

If “unbothered” was a person, it would be me.

And surprisingly… it works.

Because the truth is, you can’t control everything.

My whole life, I’ve tried to control situations that were never mine to control. Things that were completely out of my hands.

But now, I’m starting to understand that there are things I can control—and things I simply cannot.

So if something doesn’t go as planned, if I’m late, if things shift unexpectedly… maybe it’s not something I need to panic about. Maybe it was just out of my control.

And that’s okay.

But still… I’m tired.

Life feels so boring right now.

I’m 19 and I’m just like… is this it? 🫠

Is this how life is going to be?

Or is this just a phase where everything feels plain, black, and boring?

I don’t know, girl… I really don’t know.

This is just me ranting 🌧️

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