I Thought Leaving Would Feel Like Freedom.

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  After a month, everything seems so normal and dull... as if nothing ever happened. I am happy, but I feel empty. I waited for this for the longest time... three years and counting. I honestly did not like how I left things. It felt rushed. It felt sad. And honestly, if I could go back in time... I would probably do it the same way. I can't help but blame myself for leaving a toxic environment. I was suffering. Scars have been drawn on my body. Unwanted habits have now become normal for me. I feel restless. I am exhausted. I am tired, yet I feel like I don't deserve sleep. Why, though? I only left because I was tired of being exploited. I want to be selfish. I want to put myself first. I have been nothing but a dirty doormat. My mind, soul, and body crave peace and sleep, but I feel like the moment I lay down, I will fall behind. Am I over exaggerating my grief? Or am I trying to convince myself that leaving was the wrong step? I feel lonely. I don't crave people to intera...

How I Survived My Soft Girl Academic Breakdown After Getting 2%

 I am mentally traumatized๐Ÿ˜ซ. Emotionally confused๐Ÿ˜ฃ๐Ÿ’”. Spiritually cracking like a beautifully fragile glass๐Ÿท๐Ÿ’”

Today, I feel like screaming my lungs out into a void ๐Ÿ‘️๐Ÿ‘️. Why??!!. Because I got 2%. Two๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ’”

Oh, the horror ๐Ÿคง. The disrespect ๐Ÿ˜ญ. The tragedy of my soft little academic ego ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”.

In all my 3.5 years of studenting, I have never seen such disgrace ๐Ÿคง. This paper slapped me across the face with a cold ink that said "2"๐Ÿ˜ต

I'm officially in my soft gurl academic breakdown ๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿค๐Ÿซฃ๐Ÿ–ค.

I just want to lie down with some chilled pineapple ๐Ÿ, stare at the ceiling and mourn ๐Ÿ˜“. 

Mourn what exactly ๐Ÿค”...I don't even know ๐Ÿ˜ซ.... just everything ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ’”.

Maybe this is one of those times where a lesson is learnt somewhere ๐Ÿคง. 

They say failure is a bruise not a tattoo ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ’”.

Maybe I'm overreacting a lil ๐Ÿ–️๐ŸŒš.

I need this ๐Ÿ˜ซ, I want to scream into a pillow and shout for the angels to hear my whispered tears๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ’”.

Could this be my fault ๐Ÿ‘€?! Probably ๐Ÿคง

Everyone is dissing the lecturer though ๐Ÿฅน, maybe I should join them ๐Ÿ˜ถ‍๐ŸŒซ. 

Buh even though I'm shocked and in pain, I believe disrespecting someone won't bring any healing๐Ÿคž๐ŸคŽ.

 It's just noise ๐Ÿ—ฃ️๐Ÿ’”..... unnecessary noise to be precise ๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿ—ฃ️๐Ÿ’”.

And the truth is, I'll forget about this before tomorrow ๐ŸŒš๐Ÿ’…. Though I got 2%๐Ÿฅน, I'm dramatically okay with it ๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿ’•. 

I'm cracking like glass, but healing like gold ๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿช™. 

Because setbacks are not full stops, they're commas✅๐Ÿ’•

2% Bruised Me....Not Broke Me๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’—

Comments

  1. This is wonderful.
    I admire the fact that you didn't let the 2% define you. Keep up the good work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww thank you ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜‚❤️
      It's just one failure closer to success ๐Ÿ˜š๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿ’•

      Delete

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