I Thought Leaving Would Feel Like Freedom.

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  After a month, everything seems so normal and dull... as if nothing ever happened. I am happy, but I feel empty. I waited for this for the longest time... three years and counting. I honestly did not like how I left things. It felt rushed. It felt sad. And honestly, if I could go back in time... I would probably do it the same way. I can't help but blame myself for leaving a toxic environment. I was suffering. Scars have been drawn on my body. Unwanted habits have now become normal for me. I feel restless. I am exhausted. I am tired, yet I feel like I don't deserve sleep. Why, though? I only left because I was tired of being exploited. I want to be selfish. I want to put myself first. I have been nothing but a dirty doormat. My mind, soul, and body crave peace and sleep, but I feel like the moment I lay down, I will fall behind. Am I over exaggerating my grief? Or am I trying to convince myself that leaving was the wrong step? I feel lonely. I don't crave people to intera...
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I Took Life for Granted And Now I Regret It

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I'm not gonna lie, 2025 has literally been one of the 

fastest years of my whole life. 

It feels like just yesterday was New Year's, and today it's July.

 I can't stress enough how strange and scary that is. Life is moving so fast, I can't handle it like, for real.

Ever since this year began, I've just been counting the days and nights.

 Anytime I open my eyes, it's day, and before I realize it, it's nighttime.

 It's currently 20:39 right now... but it was 10:00 AM two minutes ago. 

This is honestly scary for me.

You know, life moves so fast, but we just spend our days and time sweating over the little stuff. 

We worry, we complain and honestly, it's normal to do that. But sometimes I wish that instead of comparing,

 wishing, and worrying... we could just take our time and live in the moment.

For one day, let’s just slow down and admire the beauty around us.

 Let’s enjoy every single moment without taking it for granted.

I personally took my teen years for granted, and now I sit here every day... 

wishing I could go back and enjoy every single moment, really live that particular moment without thinking of tomorrow.

I wish I could go back in time, change some things, and take back some stuff I said.

 But it's too late. I sit here with my heart full of grief and remorse.

But still, I'm grateful for everything that happened to me and for the moments I took for granted...

because now, it’s shaped me into the person I am today. 

It has truly shifted my mindset.

I'm grateful for all the experiences I had and even the ones I didn't get to feel.

From now onwards, I'm going to live my life with true intention. 

I'm gonna be intentional about everything I do now, and I’m going to take my time to enjoy and stay in the moment while it lasts

....because 8 years from now, I don’t want to look back and feel the way I’m feeling today.

 

.....xoxo ♡

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