I Thought Leaving Would Feel Like Freedom.

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  After a month, everything seems so normal and dull... as if nothing ever happened. I am happy, but I feel empty. I waited for this for the longest time... three years and counting. I honestly did not like how I left things. It felt rushed. It felt sad. And honestly, if I could go back in time... I would probably do it the same way. I can't help but blame myself for leaving a toxic environment. I was suffering. Scars have been drawn on my body. Unwanted habits have now become normal for me. I feel restless. I am exhausted. I am tired, yet I feel like I don't deserve sleep. Why, though? I only left because I was tired of being exploited. I want to be selfish. I want to put myself first. I have been nothing but a dirty doormat. My mind, soul, and body crave peace and sleep, but I feel like the moment I lay down, I will fall behind. Am I over exaggerating my grief? Or am I trying to convince myself that leaving was the wrong step? I feel lonely. I don't crave people to intera...

Feeling Lonely While Everyone Has Their Own Squad? Here's What You Need to Hear

 Hey there ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’—

Jones Moon here ๐Ÿซ ....still sharing my unfiltered thoughts and heartbeats ๐Ÿ’ญ๐Ÿ’•. 

Have you ever felt like you're meant to have your own friends who just get you ๐Ÿฅบ?. 

You're not alone ๐Ÿ˜”....so many people quietly carry this same ache but feel like they have to pretend they're okay ๐Ÿซ ❤‍๐Ÿฉน.

I'm sure you've dreamed of having your own "Bratz Squad ๐Ÿ‘‘✨" or "My little pony crew ๐Ÿฆ„๐ŸŒˆ✨"....a place where you belong without trying ๐Ÿฉท.

But somehow....life didn't work out that way๐Ÿฅ€. 

Maybe you grew up and found yourself standing alone ๐Ÿซ  in places you thought would be filled with laughter ๐Ÿฅบ, closeness ๐Ÿซ‚ and memories๐Ÿซฐ๐Ÿ’•.

And you wonder....why me?

Why am I the one watching others from the sidelines ๐Ÿฅฒ?

Why is it so hard for me to find my people ๐Ÿฅฒ?

You try not to let it hurt ๐Ÿค•.....you try telling yourself "it's okay, I'll be fine ๐Ÿ˜ต‍๐Ÿ’ซ๐Ÿซฉ"

But deep inside, it stings ๐Ÿซ ๐Ÿ’”

It's stings when you open your phone and there's no messages waiting for you ๐Ÿซ ๐Ÿ’”

It stings when you text first, only to get cold, single word replies ๐Ÿซ ๐Ÿ’”

It stings when you watch bestie goals pictures and wonder if you'll ever have that too ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ’”.

But sometimes life writes ✍️ a different story for us...a lonelier one in the beginning --- not because you're not loveable ๐Ÿซ ,

 but because the people who are meant to truly get you haven't arrived yet ❤️

You're not meant for surface level friendships ๐Ÿฉถ

You're meant for soul deep friendships ๐Ÿ’ž--- 

the kind where you can be yourself, in all your softness, weirdness, creativity and dreams ๐ŸŒ™✨

And yes it hurts when old friends move on ๐Ÿซ ❤‍๐Ÿฉน or become distant ๐Ÿ˜ข❤‍๐Ÿฉน

It doesn't mean you weren't important to them๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ’•

It just means you're growing on different paths ๐ŸŒฑ๐Ÿ’•.

And that's okay, even though it hurts ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿซฐ❤‍๐Ÿฉน

And you know what?

Right now, while it feels lonely ๐Ÿฅบ, you're planting seeds ๐ŸŒฑ

๐ŸŒท: Seeds of resilience 

๐ŸŒท: Seeds of self trust 

๐ŸŒท: Seeds of creativity 

๐ŸŒท: Seeds of self love ❤️ 

๐ŸŒท: Seeds of discernment 

And when those seeds bloom--- you'll attract the right people ๐Ÿซ‚❤‍๐Ÿฉน. You won't have to chase them ๐Ÿซ . 

They'll recognize your heart because it will match with theirs ๐Ÿ’–

True friends are like stars ✨...you don't always see them ๐Ÿฅบ, but they're there๐Ÿฅน๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ’•.

You are a whole galaxy waiting to be discovered by those who will treasure you properly ๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿ’•

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